Archive for: Something to Ponder

If you are anything like this author, cleaning is somewhere toward the bottom of you favorite spring activities (perhaps just before taxes, but not by much). When psyching yourself up to undertake a task, how do you get yourself in the right state of mind? Do you use self-talk, reminding yourself how much happier you will be when the task is completed? Do you put on your favorite song and use it as your rallying anthem? Do you wait until the last moment (say, the day before your in-laws arrive) and let stress be your motivator? Knowing what motivates us can help us harness that energy for success and keep us working toward our goals.

Opinions on Valentine’s Day tend to fall into one of two camps. There are those who relish the opportunity to express their love for another or be showered with affection, and those who would rather treat it as any other day of the week. Regardless of your feelings about the day, it is good to ask yourself how you show affection and appreciation for those around you. The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman offers some strategies to ponder. Are you someone who gives gifts with a special connection to that person? Do you give in other ways, such as spending time together or helping out around the house? Does your chosen method involve giving compliments and talking to the person directly? Do you let your body do the talking, be it with a pat on the back, a hug, or kiss? How do you know you are loved? Your answer may point you in the direction of how you express affection.

“New Year, New You” has become synonymous with January 1 st and symbolizes to Americans the hope of resolutions fulfilled, old habits extinguished, or a commitment to a better self. Gym memberships spike, new diets begin, and several packs of cigarettes meet the bottom of the waste bin. But how do you implement change effectively? Do you do better stopping something cold-turkey, or do you gently ween yourself off? Is day one the first day plans take shape, or have you been prepping for each step in advance? Who are you making the change for? You or someone else? Regardless of these answers, change works best when its something we want and feel connected to. Whether they’re done in January or July, make sure the changes you make mean something to you.

As the holiday season is upon us, take a moment to reflect upon your approach to gift giving. Is holiday shopping a matter of choosing something/someone off your “to do” list or do you take it as an opportunity to think about those who are important to you in your life, what they mean to you and how they have impacted your world? What types of gifts do you like to receive – those that are practical & useful, the gift of time with others, gifts that really reflect the relationship between you and the gift giver? The holiday season is a time to slow down and really reconnect with those in our lives.

There are so many ways technology can be used to connect us with family, friends, and other communities — in one sense we have never been more interconnected. These forums can be a great way to keep up with others whom we may not otherwise, but are we also using these platforms to replace face-to-face interactions? It is interesting to consider how the quality of relationships is impacted given that the majority of communication is nonverbal… what happens to the quality of communication when we take the nonverbal component out of the equation? Of course there is a continuum of technology use and pros and cons of each level.

The important question to ask yourself is how your personal use of social media and technology is impacting you. Do you feel support when others reply to a message or do you miss the sounds of people’s voices cheering you on? Does receiving a text for your birthday make you feel as good as a phone call and chance to catch up? Email vs card? “LOL” vs hearing someone laugh? The list goes on.

Take a minute to evaluate the quality of your social relationships, including your support from others and your level of engagement with others. If you are not happy with them, can changing your social media use help?

This time of year, you may feel you are dragging, having trouble getting things done, are a bit more irritable, are craving sweets and are wanting to sleep more. You may experience a drop in mood corresponding with the grayer days, ranging from melancholy to sadness. You may see autumn as an ending; summertime is over and the dreaded winter approaching. You can focus on the negatives… the end of summer and vacations, shorter days, and worsening weather and see this as a more intense work time before the holidays roll around, OR you can choose to appreciate the stimulating sensory season bursting around you!

• Touch: the chilly nights and morning mist
• Taste: apple cider and pumpkin pie
• Smell: smoke from bonfires
• Sight: leaves exploding into color
• Hearing: rustling leaves and the crunch of frost

So, what are you going to do… hibernate or enjoy autumn’s amazing sensory palette?!

As we start on another trip around the sun, I invite you to think about how you can be a creator this year. There are two types of creator’s- one type of creating is working with objects to make things (woodworking, crafting, cooking, art, or even creating events and parties). The other type of creators create themselves. I encourage you to create yourself this year. This does not mean starting from scratch and acting in ways that are not authentic. Using whatever existing skills you have, whatever you have learned from your own life experience, use it to express yourself. Get out of your own way and drop the idea of becoming like someone else because you are already a unique piece of art. You just have to know it and realize it.

Imagine if all the thoughts that go through your mind were made into a movie. What kind of movie would it be? A comedy? A horror film? A plotless story with boring dialogue? Would you be willing to let others watch the movie of your mind? If you don’t like the movie that is going on inside your head and would not want anyone else to watch it, then why are you still replaying the same story? We have the ability to be the producer, director, and writer of our lives and to create a Life Movie that we enjoy and get pleasure out of watching.

A common image that depicts the conscience is the devil and the angel sitting on a person’s shoulder, whispering into the ear of the person of what they should do. One of the first lessons children are taught is good vs. bad. Whatever imagery we grow up with to depict moral vs. immoral, sinful vs. virtuous, or acceptable vs. unacceptable, we all have to remember that these judgments of the mind are just products of our environment. If we get too stuck in these binary choices, we miss out on experiencing the truth and beauty that lies within our own hearts. How many times have you done something just because you “should” as taught by your parents or some institution? What would have happened if you listened to your own heart and intuition? When we respond out of our own awareness, whatever we do will be good. When we break free of conditioned beliefs, we can start to see life as it really is.