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Mindful Eating During the Holidays
Mindful eating doesn't mean skipping treats, but helps you indulge mindfully so you feel good about yourself and don’t overeat. Full story. |
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Full-service testing facility offering all forms
of psychological, educational, and forensic
evaluations for all ages. |
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Lepage Associates Solution-Based
Psychological & Psychiatric Services
919-572-0000
MAIN OFFICE
5842 Fayetteville Road #106, Durham
SATELLITE PSYCHIATRY CLINIC
1340 Environ Way, Chapel Hill |
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Our main office provides an ideal location with excellent accessibility for all of our Triangle clients. Serving Durham, Chapel Hill, RTP, Morrisville, Cary, and Raleigh.
The perfect mid-point between Chapel Hill, Raleigh, Cary, Morrisville, and Durham, near RTP and only 1/2 mile off I-40:
• Durham - S. Durham near Southpoint Mall
• 5 minutes from RTP offices
• Chapel Hill - only 8 miles from CH center
• Morrisville - only 10 miles
• Cary - only 15 miles
• Raleigh - only 10 miles from W. Raleigh and a bit further from downtown
Our Satellite Psychiatry Clinic is also conveniently located just two miles off I-40 at exit 273 and just six miles from our main office. |
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Looking for a psychologist, therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist in the Triangle, NC (Durham, Chapel Hill, Raleigh, Cary, Research Triangle Park/RTP, and the surrounding areas)?
Our psychologists and psychiatrists can meet all of your mental health needs. In addition to our psychological and psychiatric services for adults, our team includes child psychologists, child therapists, child counselors, and child psychiatrists experienced in play therapy and child/teen therapy with children and adolescents.
Therapy/Counseling; Testing/Evaluation; Psychiatric Medication/Psychiatry; Medication Evaluation/Medication Management; Consultation; Mediation; and Coaching – by a highly experienced team of caring and competent doctors. Adult psychologists / child psychologists and adult psychiatrists /child psychiatrists.
Providing high-quality therapy and counseling, medication evaluation and management, psychological evaluation, educational evaluation, and forensic evaluation to Durham, Chapel Hill, Raleigh, Cary, Research Triangle Park/RTP and the surrounding areas of the Triangle, NC.
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Philosophy of this Approach
It makes sense in life to utilize experts; it makes sense because it
saves time, money, and frustration, and increases confidence in the
outcome. The divorce expert-team approach is a collaborative model that
was developed at the Center for Separating with Civility &
Divorcing with Dignity TM. It is based on the idea that building
experts into the process from the beginning ultimately saves time,
money, and frustration, and increases confidence in the outcome. The
major areas of divorce are each attended to by a specialist in that
area. Divorce involves four main areas of expertise: legal, financial,
child, and overall communication/negotiation.
Process for Parties without Children
| Overview: |
Initial consult/info gathering with Communication Consultant
Meetings with respective Attorneys
Joint meeting with Financial Planner
Financial feedback session with Attorneys & Financial Planner
+ individual review meetings with respective Attorneys
Customized negotiation meeting(s) to reach agreement
Final meeting to review and sign agreement
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| Expert-Team: |
2 Attorneys / Legal
1 Psychologist / Communications
1 Financial Planner / Finances
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(1) Initial consultation with each spouse individually and the neutral communication consultant (up to 2 hours each spouse)
Communication Consultant Initial Meeting: In our Divorce
Expert-Team Approach, each client meets with the neutral communications
consultant first, before meeting with their attorneys, for two main
reasons: (1) it sets the tone that this is a unique approach that is
different than the traditional, adversarial process and is designed to
be amicable, and (2) following the design of experts for every role,
information gathering and process preparation are done by someone
expert in effective communication. Our psychologists are experts in
communication skills and the divorce process; we are trained to ask the
right questions to help people understand their own underlying
needs/interests, and to help them do this even when they first need to
get past difficult emotions to achieve that clarity. This skill in
targeted interviewing done in an empathetic manner by someone expert in
helping people in times of high emotion make us an invaluable asset in
helping parties identify their interests in a timely manner so that
they can move on to discussing options. In addition, we know that
distressing emotions often emerge during legal meetings between
spouses, which then cause people to act in ways that can make reaching
resolution much more difficult. We help people identify their possible
triggers, and prepare for emotional reactions and how to deal with them
in the moment. Our expertise in handling one’s own emotions and the
emotional reactions of others provides a highly useful addition to the
information that attorneys provide their clients.
The information gathered in these meetings will be passed on to the
clients’ respective attorneys prior to the clients first attorney
meetings, so that the attorneys have already been prepped on the case
and are better able to make the first attorney meetings targeted and
productive. Clients will also be given a list of financial and legal
documents they should gather to take with them to their attorney
meeting, again, so that first attorney meeting can be more productive.
In addition, clients will be given a list of documents to take to their
first financial planner meeting.
(2) First meeting with individual attorneys; each spouse meets individually with their attorney (up to 2 hours each spouse)
Attorney First Meeting: Your attorney will describe his or her
way of working, and will review documents you have provided. Attorneys
will also provide legal information and legal advice specific to their
client’s situation. Your attorney will discuss with you your needs and
interests, and how to get those best met in your separation and divorce
agreement.
(3) First meeting with neutral divorce financial planner; spouses meet together with the neutral divorce financial planner (up to 2 hours)
Financial Planner First Meeting:
A financial planner who is
certified in divorce financial planning is an invaluable asset to the
divorce process, since much fear and worry in divorce comes from
concerns over finances. The financial planner can provide various
short-term and long-term scenarios regarding division of
property/assets/debts and cash flow (i.e., alimony and/or child
support). These projections provide a view into how your financial
decisions in the divorce will affect each spouse immediately and in
years to come, thus taking the guesswork and related worry out of your
decisions. This invaluable information helps both spouses feel secure
in financial agreements they make. Meetings are conducted with both
spouses present to preserve full disclosure; the financial planner is
not an advocate for any one spouse but instead is a neutral who
provides a wealth of information for spouses and their respective
attorneys to utilize. In the first meeting the financial planner will
review documents you have provided, and will discuss financial issues
specific to your situation. He or she will use this information to run
scenarios which will be provided to clients and their attorneys.
How Divorce Financial Planners Assist Clients:
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- Analyze financial proposals.
- Create forward-looking financial projections for the Client’s income
and expenses for any period - five years to life expectancy.
- Discuss realistic personal financial goals with Client; establish realistic budgets.
- Identify post-divorce cash flow, sources of income and expenses.
- Assist Client in implementation of account transfers, refinancing, etc.
- Identify the best resources to meet cash requirements.
- Analyze the financial effect of accepting an immediate or deferred
distribution from a qualified plan.
- Identify potential tax exposures.
- Calculate the value of life insurance needed to protect alimony or child support payments.
- Evaluate the client’s personal need for insurance; evaluate existing insurance portfolio.
- Evaluate investment suitability.
- Explain rules and regulations governing qualified retirement plans (401k and 403b) and Individual Retirement Accounts (IRAs).
- Review IRA rollover and/or withdrawal rules if necessary
- Following settlement, determine which assets should be sold, which should be kept.
- Provide a personal checklist for the Client detailing action items required to meet terms of Settlement Agreement.
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(4) Financial feedback session with financial planner and attorneys + individual attorney meetings; spouses meet together with their respective attorneys and with the
neutral divorce financial planner to review the financial scenarios (up
to 2 hours). Parties may choose to have the communication consultant
present if they wish. Immediately following this, spouses may also meet
individually with their respective attorneys to discuss how this
information affects their thoughts on how they hope their settlement
agreement will be fashioned.
Financial Feedback Session: This provides an opportunity for
spouses and attorneys to review the short and long term financial
scenarios run by the financial planner, and to ask any questions each
might have. Parties who have difficulty communicating may choose to
have the communication consultant there to help foster effective
communication, but generally the communication consultant does not
attend this informational meeting unless asked. Spouses generally
choose to meet individually with their respective attorneys following
the financial feedback session to discuss this information and their
thoughts about what they would like to see in their separation and
divorce agreement. Spouses who are fairly amicable and close to
agreement may extend this meeting into their first 4-way negotiation
meeting of attorneys and clients. However, some spouses prefer to have
some time to think about the financial scenarios before their first
4-way negotiation.
(5) Customized negotiation meeting with attorneys, and with other experts as needed.
Negotiation Meeting: Spouses meet together with their respective attorneys to negotiate the terms of their agreement.
Parties who have difficulty communicating or who are high-conflict may
choose to have the communication consultant there to help foster
effective communication and mediate sticking points. Our psychologists
are experts in communication skills, and part of our communications
expertise is in negotiation and conflict-resolution between people in
relationships. As a relationship ends and emotions are high, we are
skilled at strategies to help parties talk and listen in a way that
they are able to negotiate effectively. We work with the team together
to help parties get past any stuck points; we attend the meeting as
neutrals to work with the team to avoid or break any impasses and keep
the process moving.
Parties with complex financial issues or whose main sticking points are
financial disagreements may choose to have the neutral divorce
financial planner attend the meeting.
If the terms of the agreement are agreed upon in this meeting, the
attorneys will draft the agreement to be signed at the last meeting. If
the terms of the agreement are not agreed upon in this meeting, future
meeting will be designed on a case-by-case meeting based on the needs
of the parties. Parties will meet with whichever expert(s) on the team
who could best address the sticking points and help parties come to an
agreement.
(6) Final signing meeting with attorneys.
Final Meeting: Spouses meet together with their respective attorneys to review and sign their agreement.
Process for Parties with Children
| Overview: |
Initial consult/info gathering with Communication Consultant
Meetings with respective Attorneys
Joint meeting with Child Specialist
Meeting with Child Specialist and Child
(optional based on parents’ wishes)
Joint meeting with Financial Planner
Financial feedback session with Attorneys & Financial Planner
+ individual review meetings with respective Attorneys
Customized negotiation meeting(s) to reach agreement
Final meeting to review and sign agreement
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| Expert-Team: |
2 Attorneys / Legal
1 Psychologist / Communications
1 Financial Planner / Finances
|
(1) Initial consultation with each spouse individually and the neutral communication consultant (up to 2 hours each spouse)
Communication Consultant Initial Meeting: In our Divorce
Expert-Team Approach, each client meets with the neutral communications
consultant first, before meeting with their attorneys, for two main
reasons: (1) it sets the tone that this is a unique approach that is
different than the traditional, adversarial process and is designed to
be as amicable as possible, and (2) following the design of experts for
every role, information gathering and process preparation are done by
someone expert in effective communication. Our psychologists are
experts in communication skills and the divorce process; we are trained
to ask the right questions to help people understand their own
underlying needs/interests, and to help them do this even when they
first need to get past difficult emotions to achieve that clarity. This
skill in targeted interviewing done in an empathetic manner by someone
expert in helping people in times of high emotion make us an invaluable
asset in helping parties identify their interests in a timely manner so
that they can move on to discussing options. In addition, we know that
distressing emotions often emerge during legal meetings between
spouses, which then cause people to act in ways that can make reaching
resolution much more difficult. We help people identify their possible
triggers, and prepare for emotional reactions and how to deal with them
in the moment. Our expertise in handling one’s own emotions and the
emotional reactions of others provides a highly useful addition to the
information that attorneys provide their clients.
The information gathered in these meetings will be passed on to the
clients’ respective attorneys prior to the clients first attorney
meetings, so that the attorneys have already been prepped on the case
and are better able to make the first attorney meetings targeted and
productive. Clients will also be given a list of financial and legal
documents they should gather to take with them to their attorney
meeting, again, so that first attorney meeting can be more productive.
In addition, clients will be given a list of documents to take to their
first financial planner meeting.
(2) First meeting with individual attorneys; each spouse meets individually with their attorney (up to 2 hours each spouse)
Attorney First Meeting: Your attorney will describe his or her
way of working, and will review documents you have provided. Attorneys
will also provide legal information and legal advice specific to their
client’s situation. Your attorney will discuss with you your needs and
interests, and how to get those best met in your separation and divorce
agreement.
(3) First meeting with neutral child specialist; spouses meet together with the neutral child specialist; customized
consultation with parties together regarding child issues as needed,
such as: telling children of decision to divorce, preparing parents to
help children through the divorce process, how parents can minimize
stress on the children, coaching for cooperative co-parenting,
developing a parenting plan/custody agreement, and moving into two
households.
Child Specialist First Meeting: The child specialist is there to
answer the specific questions and concerns you may have regarding your
child in the many domains that relate to children and divorce.
Parents often worry about how they will tell their child of the
decision to divorce. Our child specialists work with parents to prepare
for this important conversation. Based
on their expertise in child development, they assist parents in making
decisions about timing, messages that project the reality of the
situation yet protect the child’s emotions, and how to handle reactions
and questions.
Our child psychologists are specialists in the emotional and social
development of children and teenagers. Parents may notice that their
child is showing negative effects of the divorce, such as emotional
upset or withdrawal, anger, anxiety, academic difficulties, problems
with peers, drug or alcohol use, breaking rules, etc. The
child specialist prepares parents for how to help their children get
through the divorce process, and assists the parents in recognizing and
meeting the child’s needs during this difficult time and transition.
In addition, they are able to provide coaching for cooperative
co-parenting. People who are newly divorced are also learning to
co-parent anew, with a transition to two households and changing roles
and responsibilities with regard to parenting. These practical changes
combined with difficult emotions from the divorce can make co-parenting
challenging at times. With
expertise in parenting, families, divorce, and conflict resolution, our
child specialists help people develop a positive, cooperative,
low-conflict shared parenting relationship.
The child specialist may work with the parents to develop and implement
a parenting plan that reinforces a healthy, close relationship with
both parents while instituting boundaries for the child’s behavior.
Psychologists who are experts in child development, family
relationships, and custody arrangements can be very helpful to parents
as they decide what might be the best parenting plan for their child.
We do not make the decision, but rather provide a wealth of information
and professional thoughts that parents utilize as they wish in making
their final decision. Consulting with someone who is an expert in these
areas can help parents make a decision that they have confidence in.
(We can also provide a full custody evaluation if that is needed; click here for complete information on parenting plans and custody evaluations.)
(4) Meeting with each child and Child Specialist (up to 1 hour per child); these individual meetings between the child
and Child Specialist give children a voice in the process and allow
them to feel respected and heard.
Child Specialist and Child Meetings: Our child specialists can provide the child a voice in the divorce process by assessing the child's needs and concerns. Children
are often hesitant to be open with parents during separation and
divorce, and child psychologists are trained in talking with children
and teenagers during difficult times, thus we may be able to elicit
more information than parents regarding the child’s true thoughts and
feelings. In this manner we can be used to give the child a true, safe means of expression in the process.
(5) First meeting with neutral divorce financial planner spouses meet together with the neutral divorce financial planner (up to 2 hours)
Financial Planner First Meeting: A financial planner who is
certified in divorce financial planning is an invaluable asset to the
divorce process, since much fear and worry in divorce comes from
concerns over finances. The financial planner can provide various
short-term and long-term scenarios regarding division of
property/assets/debts and cash flow (i.e., alimony and /or child
support). These projections provide a view into how your financial
decisions in the divorce will affect each spouse immediately and in
years to come, thus taking the guesswork and related worry out of your
decisions. This invaluable information helps both spouses feel secure
in financial agreements they make. Meetings are conducted with both
spouses present to preserve full disclosure; the financial planner is
not an advocate for any one spouse but instead is a neutral who
provides a wealth of information for spouses and their respective
attorneys to utilize. In the first meeting the financial planner will
review documents you have provided, and will discuss financial issues
specific to your situation. He or she will use this information to run
scenarios which will be provided to clients and their attorneys.
| How Divorce Financial Planners Assist Clients |
- Analyze financial proposals.
- Create forward-looking financial projections for the Client’s income
and expenses for any period - five years to life expectancy.
- Discuss realistic personal financial goals with Client; establish realistic budgets.
- Identify post-divorce cash flow, sources of income and expenses.
- Assist Client in implementation of account transfers, refinancing, etc.
- Identify the best resources to meet cash requirements.
- Analyze the financial effect of accepting an immediate or deferred
distribution from a qualified plan.
- Identify potential tax exposures.
- Calculate the value of life insurance needed to protect alimony or child support payments.
- Evaluate the client’s personal need for insurance; evaluate existing insurance portfolio.
- Evaluate investment suitability.
- Explain rules and regulations governing qualified retirement plans (401k and 403b) and Individual Retirement Accounts (IRAs).
- Review IRA rollover and/or withdrawal rules if necessary
- Following settlement, determine which assets should be sold, which should be kept.
- Provide a personal checklist for the Client detailing action items required to meet terms of Settlement Agreement.
|
(6) Financial feedback session with financial planner and attorneys + individual attorney meetings spouses meet together with their respective attorneys and with the
neutral divorce financial planner to review the financial scenarios (up
to 2 hours). Parties may choose to have the communication consultant
present if they wish. Immediately following this, spouses may also meet
individually with their respective attorneys to discuss how this
information affects their thoughts on how they hope their settlement
agreement will be fashioned.
Financial Feedback Session: This provides an opportunity for
spouses and attorneys to review the short and long term financial
scenarios run by the financial planner, and to ask any questions each
might have. Parties who have difficulty communicating may choose to
have the communication consultant there to help foster effective
communication, but generally the communication consultant does not
attend this informational meeting unless asked. Spouses generally
choose to meet individually with their respective attorneys following
the financial feedback session to discuss this information and their
thoughts about what they would like to see in their separation and
divorce agreement. Spouses who are fairly amicable and close to
agreement may extend this meeting into their first 4-way negotiation
meeting of attorneys and clients. However, some spouses prefer to have
some time to think about the financial scenarios before their first
4-way negotiation.
(7) Customized negotiation meeting(s) with attorneys, and with other experts as needed.
Negotiation Meeting(s): Spouses meet together with their
respective attorneys to negotiate the terms of their agreement.
Depending on the needs of the parties, it may be only parties and
attorneys present, or the parties may wish other experts to join the
meeting.
Customized Options:
1. Parties who have difficulty communicating or who are high-conflict
may choose to have the communication consultant there to help foster
effective communication and mediate sticking points. Our psychologists
are experts in communication skills, and part of our communications
expertise is in negotiation and conflict-resolution between people in
relationships. As a relationship ends and emotions are high, we are
skilled at strategies to help parties talk and listen in a way that
they are able to negotiate effectively. We work with the team together
to help parties get past any stuck points; we attend the meeting as
neutrals to work with the team to avoid or break any impasses and keep
the process moving.
2. Parties with complex financial issues or whose main sticking points
are financial disagreements may choose to have the neutral divorce
financial planner attend the meeting.
3. Parties who have had the Child Specialist meet with their child will
have the Child Specialist present (for at least part of the meeting) to
share the child’s thoughts and feelings learned in the child meeting.
4. Parties who have had a more extended custody evaluation completed
may have the Child Specialist/Evaluator present (for at least part of
the meeting) to share the findings, or may choose simply to rely on the
written report.
If the terms of the agreement are agreed upon in this meeting, the
attorneys will draft the agreement to be signed at the final meeting.
If the terms of the agreement are not agreed upon in this meeting,
future meeting will be designed on a case-by-case meeting based on the
needs of the parties. Parties will meet with whichever expert(s) on the
team who could best address the sticking points and help parties come
to an agreement.
(8) Final signing meeting with attorneys
Final Meeting: Spouses meet together with their respective attorneys to review and sign their agreement.
Comparing Costs of the Divorce Expert-Team Approach with Other Approaches
Experts = Efficiency. Empower yourself with expert knowledge and
thus increase comfort in your decisions, avoid impasses by
incorporating experts into the process up front, save time and money. The reality is that financial experts and child specialists are often
used in divorce, though typically they are brought in once a couple has
been stuck for a while and cannot come to any agreement. Having been
stuck for a while means that money has been spent on attorney meetings
to no avail; it is wasted money, and wasted time along the way, plus
the added emotional turmoil that results from an impasse. There are two
main ways that are effective in getting people in negotiation past
impasses: (1) increase their knowledge of a subject so that they can
then consider more possibilities, and/or (2) improve their ability in
communication and negotiation. The latter is different depending on
what is hampering the person’s abilities, which can include lack of
assertiveness or fear of direct confrontation, emotional baggage,
inability to control one’s temper, or even a simple lack of experience
in negotiation. By incorporating experts into
the process from the beginning, the entire process moves more quickly,
and impasses are avoided, thus saving time, money, and stress. Our expert areas are chosen wisely: people most often argue over children and/or money.
To most people, whether you are wealthy, middle of the road, or
struggle financially, money matters. That is, we all like to feel our
money was spent usefully. Overall Divorce Expert-Team costs are
generally dramatically less than legal fees for a contested divorce
(one that concludes with a court trial or hearing), and equal to or
less than a more traditional adversarial divorce model in which both
parties retain attorneys to represent them but may conclude by
settlement without a court trial or hearing.
As with the more traditional adversarial divorce model, in the Divorce
Expert-Team approach both parties retain attorneys to represent them.
The goal in the Divorce Expert-Team approach is to conclude by
settlement without a court trial or hearing. Consider the costs of a
high conflict divorce that ends in litigation: on-line divorce
calculators for North Carolina put the cost of litigation at between a
low of $26,000 to $130,000 or more PER SPOUSE,
and this cost includes attorney fees only (outside experts are often
used in litigation and thus there are fees in addition of attorney’s
fees). In addition, litigation takes away your control and gives
control to the judge. Judicial discretion. That is what litigation ends
in. You pay tens of thousands or over a hundred thousand dollars… and
you don’t even have the final say. Nor does your spouse. Nor do the
attorneys you’ve been working so closely with. The irony is that the
judge may come up with conditions that neither you nor your spouse are
happy with. We’d like to help you avoid that. Though it may require
some compromise, you ultimately maintain shared control of the
negotiation process and self-determination of the outcome if you avoid
litigation. Conversely, for clients who are seeking litigation, the
Divorce Expert-Team approach is also useful in its use of outside
experts who can provide a wealth of information that the court can
utilize in making a final judgment.
Consider the costs of a low to moderate conflict divorce using the
traditional adversarial divorce model in which both parties retain
attorneys to represent them and concludes by settlement without a court trial or hearing: on-line divorce calculators for North Carolina put the cost at between a low of $6,000 to $30,000 or more PER SPOUSE,
and this cost includes attorney fees only (outside experts are often
used in settled cases and thus there are fees in addition of attorney’s
fees). The Divorce Expert-Team approach can help keep you at the lower
end of this $6K-$30K range by its built-in format of experts,
efficiently helping you to clarify your underlying needs/interests
needs, empowering you with expert knowledge so that you feel more
certain about your positions and potential areas for compromise,
increasing your comfort in negotiation, and allowing you to feel
comfortable with the final settlement.
Four Benefits of the Divorce Expert-Team Approach
 (1) Reduce Time and Costs
The legendary costs of both traditionally settled divorce disputes and
divorce trials can quickly deplete any assets you have accumulated
during your marriage. In contrast, the Divorce Expert-Team approach,
with its built-in use of experts, accelerates the conclusion of divorce
or parenting disputes. This affords cost savings, making this a truly
affordable alternative.
(2) Reduce Stress
Knowing you have a team of experts working with you can be very
comforting and empowering. Increasing your breadth and depth of
knowledge regarding the financial issues related to divorce, and the
child issues related to divorce if you have children, results in more
confidence and control of the divorce process, and thus reduced stress.
(3) Increases Your Comfort with Your Final Settlement
With increased knowledge comes increased comfort with the final
settlement. You will have clarity as to the meaning of your settlement
and the process you took to agree to the final terms.
(4) Promotes Cooperative Co-Parenting
The amicable design helps to lessen conflict and focus on your
children’s needs and on improving your parenting relationship over
time. Couples with children are required to co-parent for many years,
and thus they often have a compelling interest in managing their
relationship with each other with dignity and respect. This approach
promotes this objective, with the obvious benefit to your children and
to your own sense of personal peace. Research findings confirm the importance of keeping conflict low in the divorce process for the benefit of the children.
Origins of the Divorce Expert-Team Approach
The Divorce Expert-Team approach has been developed at the Center for
Separating with Civility & Divorcing with Dignity™. It pulls
heavily from the Collaborative Divorce approach, yet there are also
significant differences. Click here for definitions of various divorce approaches.
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